The Relationship Crossroads

Thanks to our friend Facebook we can proclaim to the world our relationship status. There is “Single”, “In a Relationship”, “Married”, the awkward “It’s Complicated”, and a slew of other possible status indicators to say “I am alone” or “I have someone close.” “I’m Single” to “In a Relationship” brings cheers, and “In a Relationship” to “I’m Single” brings sympathy. “It’s Complicated” brings questions. Some people like myself decide to leave there status blank. I was “Married” then went to “It’s Complicated” that went to “Divorced” and now it’s just blank. Blank is good, I will even take Single. I lived in “It’s Complicated” too long, and I am assured that I never want to be there again.

So, 8 months post Divorce I find myself at a crossroads. The question that keeps coming up from friends is “when are you going to start dating?” Not that I haven’t given it some thought. I am sure it would be fun, it means eating with someone instead of by myself and I bet there are some awesome women out there. Realistically, I am not sure that I am ready to. I am still wrestling with my own insecurities, and having God work in my heart to make me the man I was intended to be. The other side? I know the painful path of desire all to well, and would hate to go down that road again. We all want to love and be loved. That is how we were created. I hope that I can find true love, one that will last a lifetime. I also want to be careful that I don’t pursue someone that is not in God’s will for my life. A relationship that will be unfruitful, and possibly result in pain. Thus it becomes “It’s Complicated.” Our flesh can also make things complicated. We have sexual desires, attractions, lust, and wants that take us away from God’s will for our lives. I believe that God really wants the best for us, and I am working to believe that I am the best for somebody out there.

I have to admit that I have also set some standards for this possible person.

  • She loves Jesus with all her heart, mind, and soul.
  • She has a heart for others.
  • She trusts in the Lord
  • She has spirit that shines

Now I am sure many will say that I have put in a tall order, and turn the tables to say what about me? So will she get in return?

  • I love Jesus with all her heart, mind, and soul.
  • I have a heart for others.
  • I trust in the Lord.
  • I have spirit that shines.
  • I want love as Christ loved the church
  • I want to be the man that she deserves

I know that we are fallen beings, and that we are in need of a Savior to help us love & truly meet these standards. At times we will utterly fail, but by the grace of God we will fall on the Rock that is Christ Jesus. So I stay on the path I am on and keep moving forward. As much as I want to pursue a relationship I don’t feel that God has given me the green light. So I wait. This will require being intimate with my Heavenly Father, to discern His will for my life. It will require patience to wait for His provision of someone for me if there is to be anyone. It will require relying on Him when times get lonely. I know that everything works out for good in due time. I know that He has been faithful in the past, and thus will be faithful in the future.

I sometimes think about one of the characters on a favorite T.V. show, “How I met your Mother.” In this show Ted Mosby, the main character, is recounting the story of how he met his kid’s mother to them, while showing his search for ‘the one.” There have been a couple of episodes in which he contemplates giving up his search for true love, and each time he has been told something that speaks to me in a way that I can relate to. In one instance he is told “I know that you’re tired of waiting. And you may have to wait a little while more but, she’s on her way, Ted. And she’s getting here as fast as she can.” In another episode, “If you have chemistry,” she says, “than all you need is timing.” I think we all want to find “the one.”

I know that at some point I will need to make decisions. I will need to take risks when it comes to dating, relationships or pursuing. God is not going to do everything, and He will require me to act in some way. I realize that ultimately I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. I chose to place my trust in God for my future.  So for now it’s “Blank” but I believe its a story waiting to be written, but I am not the author. It’s my Heavenly Father, and I believe that it will be an awesome story of His redemptive work in my life for His glory. So stay tuned because it’s going to be good!

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