So it didn’t turn out like you thought?

There are different moments in life that we all plan out our future. What career we will pursue, college we want to attend, where we want to live, or the person we plan to spend the rest of our lives with. It doesn’t take the long on this earth to find out our plans, no matter how simple, just don’t work out how we expected. 16 years ago today I said. “I do…till death do us part.”  Today also marks the first year that I am no longer legally married, and no longer have an anniversary to celebrate.  Last year I was separated from my wife on this date, and 2 years ago today was a terrible time for me. I felt like the world was ending around me.

So much has taken place in the past 2 years, and today I find myself reflecting on where I have been, where I am, and where I am going.  Along the way I have realized a few things.

I was and I am always in desperate need of a Savior. When I thought I needed my wife most, I realized that I needed Jesus more than anyone or anything. 

  • as it is written, “THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE (Romans 3:10)
  • “I am the vine, you are the branches ; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing (John 15:5)

Sin destroys! Once sin entered into my heart, marriage, and life it took root, and wreaked havoc.

  • And you were dead in your trespasses and sins,  in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. (Eph. 2:1-3)

I am not in control of my life or anyone else. God is truly in control.

  • “Remember the former things long past, For I am God, and there is no other ; I am God, and there is no one like Me, Declaring the end from the beginning, And from ancient times things which have not been done, Saying, ‘My purpose will be established, And I will accomplish all My good pleasure ‘; (Isaiah 46:9-10)

God is loving, and gracious. When I could not forgive myself, I found forgiveness in Christ Jesus.

  • But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ by grace you have been saved ) (Eph. 2:4-5)

To not plan my will for my life but pray for knowledge of His will for my life.

  • Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” (James 4:13-15)

Trust that He will use what happened for good, and His glory.

  • And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Today after all the pain, anguish, fear, and hopelessness I have experienced in recent years I can say without a doubt that because of Jesus I have:

  • overcome the pain
  • no longer live in fear
  • have hope for the future

I never thought I would be were I am today. In my darkest moments, I gave up my plan for my life and accepted His plan for my life.

I am blessed beyond measure!

I live daily in relationship with God Almighty through His Son, Jesus. I belong to an awesome church family. I am surrounded by amazing people, and get to live in relationship with them. Know that there are seasons of life that we wish would never happen, but know this more. That we have a loving God that wants the best for us! That He will rescue, that He will give you the grace to endure hardship, and that if you allow Him to will redeem and restore. It may not be the way that you expected or according to your plan, but know that God has a bigger plan for us. One that is bigger than ourselves.

Today I did not celebrate a 16 year marriage anniversary, and that is fine with me. I don’t have to carry that burden, Jesus took it at the cross. As time brings me the 1sts of all things single such as today, holidays, and birthdays I can seal closed the past. I no longer need to dwell on the past or what could have been. I can live for a new season in my life. I can make new memories, and celebrate not just special days but each day. I am genuinely excited about what the future, and what it holds for me. So if things did not turn out like you expected, let it go, and grab onto Jesus. In Him there is hope! Not just for today but for eternity!

‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

(Jeremiah 29:11)

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